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Before you start checking out the
online dating sites,
here is some very important online dating information
for you. It's especially good to know information if you have never joined
an online dating site and this is all very new to you...
I've found online dating to be one of the best things since
sliced bread, mainly because well... we shop for shoes, we shop for groceries and we
shop for clothes so why not shop for a friend, lover, or spouse! It makes perfect sense and it
works great as long as you know what you're doing, you do it safely, and you
also follow a few common sense rules that will keep you out of trouble.
One of the big advantages of online dating is
your ability to screen and decide who you want to become engaged in
conversation with (or who you want to avoid). If all you want to do right
now is look at the pictures and profiles of the local singles in your area,
that's perfectly fine... there's certainly nothing wrong with looking!
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In my experience, some of the best benefits of online dating are:
You can be completely anonymous and surf around the dating site at your
leisure without any
pressure so you can take your time, go at your own speed and you know treat
it like... people window shopping.
Easily locate potential
dates/partners locally or even far away through the online dating site's search functions and
then you can usually "narrow down" the type of person you're looking for and would be
the happiest
with.
Feel free to scan the various pictures and profiles to find the type of person your
attracted to, save profiles of those you're interested in, take notes if you
like, write down questions you might ask them if the communication avenue
between you two were to open.
After reading their profile you can see what you have in common with them,
your likes, dislikes etc. If you feel they might not make a good match for
you, no biggie in the least, check another profile and simply move on...
hey, you're not getting any younger!
As a women I posted my profile, uploaded my best picture and like the queen
bee of the online dating hive, I really just waited for all the men bees to
come a calling, buzzing all around me for my attention. ;-) I know
that sounds really big headed but it's not and I'm no hot babe either, just
an average girl. It's just the way it happens and I'm OK with that. I do
have to admit though, wow, it does wonders for a girls ego - yep gotta admit
that.
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OK, now remember that you are always in control of your
online dating experience and you have the choice to remain completely
anonymous until you feel comfortable and ready to move forward with
communicating via email, chat box (or room) or a phone call. And you always
have the choice to move even further forward to offline dating if you
choose. Take it you own pace, no rush and no hurry, this is one of the many
benefits of online dating... low stress and no predetermined time line of
any sort.
I highly recommend that you never include your personal contact information in your profile
(more in the
Online Dating Profile
section), especially
home or cell telephone numbers, email, home address or your last name, and only give
out your personal information after you've confirmed the other person as
trustworthy or when your instincts tell you it's someone you can trust.
One of the first things you want to do is to set up an email
account just for your online dating emails. This step
isn't mandatory however, it does keep your "regular" email box from getting filled
with message notifications, new member profile updates and other online
dating company information. Regardless
of the email address you use, you can generally set what type of emails you
want to receive right from your online dating account. Most dating
sites give you many options for the types of emails that can be sent to
you i.e. weekly newsletter, new member announcements, updated dating
service announcements, good matches for you etc.
After your profile is set up, even in it's most
basic form, look around and get used to the navigation and search options
you have available to you. Click around, explore and read the FAQ's or
member information pages to get a feel for what's available and how it all
works. It would be a sad situation if Mr. Right (or Ms. Right) wanted to say
hello to you, welcome you to the site and chat via a chat box only for you
to never know this since you didn't know that the flashing "chat" at the top
of your member area meant that someone was sending you a chat request and
you should have clicked on it. This is just an example as all dating sites
are different in layout, navigation and options... so read, click and
explore the site soon after you join.
Always add a photo to your profile, this applies
whether your a man or a woman, no exceptions. A photo says much about who
you are and it allows your potential partner to match your profile against
your photo. You can read more about dating profile photo's in the
online dating profile section.
For now you should
be mindful that there are many subtle clues
about you based on your style of dress, the cut of your hair, type and
amount of make up, physical look, and even your body language. People also
will naturally make judgments and form opinions about you based on your
photo such as your social class, financial status, even what they feel your
personal values
are, and all of this based upon these simple little cues.
If you'd like to know more about
the benefits of posting multiple photo's (highly recommended) you can read
about this in the online dating
do's and don'ts section.
I'd recommend that you avoid anyone that
seems pushy for your personal information early on. Remember YOU control who
you want to talk to, how and when. Once you feel comfortable after a few (or
few dozen) emails, then you decide when to move to the next step. The
serious and savvy online daters will understand this and won't ask for
this information at the beginning. They'll respect your personal space and
let you take your time to make your own decision. Those that start right off
asking for your phone number likely can't write clear and concise in an
email and feel they can make a better "sell" on the phone, don't buy it,
they're desperate. Time is on your side let it all happen naturally, slowly,
at your comfort level.
 When
you get to that point where you're emailing, chatting or even talking to
each other on the phone, this is the perfect time to get to know each other
long before you ever meet. For me this was one of the things I liked best
about online dating as I felt I already knew him very well after weeks of
emails and phone conversations. What I really wanted to do on our first meeting in all honesty was to confirm that
he was... what he said he was and of course I wanted to match his photo
to what he looked like in real life. Yep, it all matched fine so all was great!
When you decide that it's a good time to meet face to face,
just be sure to meet in a public place for your safety and it's also a good
idea to tell a close friend who you'll be meeting, where, and when you
expect to return home. Then when you get home call your friend to let them
know you've returned and of course give them all the juicy information about
how your first date went.
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If your first date goes well, you can send them
a nice greeting card as a way to say "thanks for the great time". I've used
and prefer two of the largest online greeting card companies
American Greeting Cards and
Blue
Mountain because of the big selection and ease of setting up a card to
send. Just remember ladies, as a thank you card after a date be sure
to choose a simple, basic, funny, or whimsical card. Leave all the
"lovey-dovey want to rip your clothes off" stuff with hearts, marriage
bells and lightning bolts for later on when the time is right!
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If you prefer, a short email or note to express
your thanks for the time and money he invested for your benefit is perfectly
fine too. Guys... do not send a card or email to say thank you, it's not the
right or "manly" thing to do, trust me on this one. You do not need to
"thank her for going out with you", it sounds to desperate and clingy even
if you're completely sincere and choose the nicest card. If you decide to
write a short email or note to say you had a great time with her, then
that's perfectly OK too.
Well, since I'm on roll sending all my traffic
elsewhere on the Internet, I might as well post the two links that I've
enjoyed receiving gifts from. In the early days of our dating he sent me
gift baskets from
Stew
Leonard's. In case you're not familiar with Stew, his creative baskets
have been showcased on many TV shows including the Food Network which
happens to be my favorite channel right after HGTV! Later on and long after
I built this site for the single masses my man ordered and then wrapped some "interesting" stuff from a place called
My
Pleasure for me (and us). Yea, don't click on that link if adult toys
bother you. This was of course after we were married though I wouldn't
have minded any of it while were dating either. It's been awhile since I was
there to see what's new, yet the memories of some of those goodies will me
last a lifetime! These days I don't receive as many gift baskets or personal
toys, but I'm OK with that. We have each other and finding someone to
love me and whom I could love back forever was my ultimate goal, and I got
there, so there you have it!
 Remember that
online dating is a great way to
meet other people, exchange ideas, and talk about the things you're
interested in. Through your dating profile page you have plenty of room to
tell the world about yourself and let them "meet" you 24 hours a day. Honesty is
of course a must not only because it's the right thing to do, but like I
mentioned earlier... God forbid if you say you're a 6' 2" hunk of a tanned
Brain Surgeon then one day you must meet the one you've been emailing and
talking to on the phone. Love does not care about what we look like on the
outside, that part only gets the attention of the opposite sex, what matters
and I'm sure deep down you already know this - is that you are honest about
who you really are, that's all. In your online dating profile you always have the option of being as specific or
general about who you are and what you're all about so whatever you say just
be truthful. Also, your photo... a
very important part of your online profile, so post one of your best ones
there
there. If you're a girl it'll increase your response from the guys and if
your a guy it'll make the girls more at ease and comfortable right away. Lastly have fun while at the same time being careful
with your privacy and whatever
happens don't just join and then sit there and do nothing! Jump in, start surfing,
looking and using the site search functions and begin meeting other people!
Remember... trust
your people instincts and your gut feelings!
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Your Online Dating Profile
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